sighz

I think I'm at that point in my life where the simplest of things pisses me off/annoys me. I'm moodier than the average person and I am nowhere near being happy right now. I feel like i annoy the people I care about the most with my problems and all my thoughts and whatnot *sigh* I think I need God now more than ever before cause he alone understands,he alone can help me through it, they say he never gives u more than u can bare although I feel like I can't bare being a burden to people anymore. I'm afraid of opening up to people because I think I'll scare them away with all I have to say but at the same time I feel like I'm pushing people away by not being open and honest with them :(
I wish I could go back to when I was 5 when nothing ever bothered me and all I had to worry about were my dollies *sigh* I'm tired of keeping my tears in and when I do cry I'm tired of not being able to stop. I write this in an attempt to avoid doing something stupid. I feel like most people if not all has already given up on me all that's left is for me to give up on myself I'm hanging on by a really thin thread cause once I can give up on me then why should n't everybody else? *sigh*
So much more thoughts in my mind and I can't seem to express them as freely as I'd like. I just hope it will get better cause I honestly can't take this much more.